I've been dying to save you.

Ok. I feel physically sick & I'm crying.

I have a friend who's in a pretty bad way. I've been trying to help her. I honestly thought we were making progress. She's said so many nice things to me and If i'm totally truthful; I fell for her a little bit too. She kinda kept me going just by knowing that the things I were saying were helping her. But i guess I'm wrong again.

Just read her blog. I don't know if she means any of it but fuck, it sounds serious.

She has actually given up.

She doesnt eat, she does drugs, she's suicidal. She's willing to throw it all away. It really hurts.

I actually care for her, I'm worried. I tried to help and by her saying certain things in that blog, I feel just a tad like she's throwing it all in my face.

I know I'm a huge hypocrite because the majoriy of my blogs are the same as that one she's done....but I know I'm not totally ready to go yet. I live in my own head, I know how i feel...but I don't live in her, I don't know how she truly feels.

She says she'l get through college...but that's only two years. Shes still doing drugs. She's still not eating. She's still probably harming. If she carries on; she won't last much longer anyway. I wonder if she knows that?

I think what hurts the most is the fact that she let me believe I was doing good, I was helping. She lied to me. Now she's going to abandon me.

I don't know what to do at all, but I want to help i really do. I want to show her life is worth living. I want her to get through it. I want her to be okay.

I don't and won't ever regret getting involved but I don't feel like I've tried hard enough. Maybe if i could do more, I'd be able to save her.

Maybe I'm not stable enough to be a counsellor.

Fuck this. I cant breathe. Anyone know if she's serious?