The truth is a terrible thing

I don't want to die.

But i do.

It hurts.

It hurts so much.

My head hurts, I'm tired, i hurt people. I just want it all to stop.

I know I'm pushing her away. It's been happening a while and I'm only recognizing it now.

I never meant to hurt her. She shouldnt have got involved with me.As soon as she knew about my cuts, she should have stayed well away. Things like that only get worse.

& she's right, she can't do it on her. I shouldnt be making her anyway. I only make things harder for people. She really doesnt deserve any of this.

I just want it all to stop.

I'm going to give her the choice. Either be by my side and carry on doing the best you can, or allow me to wither away. It's upto you because either way, I'll end up hurting you more somehow...at least now you have the choice to get out of it if and when you need to.

I just want you to know before you go make any decisions, I love you and I'm sorry. I never wanted any of this. You deserve so much better. I hope you find it.