We went to the Gay Parade in leeds, received loads of free shit, ate beautiful noodles, kissed,bought last minute postcards, saw a guy get run over and ate amazing jelly beans.
It was one of the best days of my life. No joke.
It was also one of the saddest days because it was my last day with ES.
We slept for about 3 hours last night before getting up at 5 this morning. Then we went to the airport and waited a little with her.
The part were we said goodbye was awkward. Awkward in the sense that I didn't want to let her go, didn't want to walk away, didn't want to say the dreaded 'g' word. Yet I had to. We didn't cry though luckily.
I waited until I was home and alone for that.
Fuck I miss her and it's only been a few hours since we last spoke.
Usually, I can't spend more than two days with people before I start to dislike them, but with ES it was different. I could have gone longer than a week definitely.
I feel really lost now. Like I don't really know what to do.
Hope I can see her again. Hope she still loves me.
My mum hates me. I can feel it.
I got shouted at today for nothing and this means there's some form of conspiracy going on about me. Maybe it's because I'm suddenly a lesbian and they only had a week for it to sink in.
It's a ticking time-bomb. Tick Tock.
I hate waiting around to find out what bad things I've done.
Tick tock tick.
I should have just gone with ES back to her hometown.
Should have eloped and adopted some crazy children.
I still have hope.
Tick tock boom.
I'm going to go read some Astrid Lindgren now and practice my swedish alphabet and wait...
...wait patiently...
for my hemskt fate.
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