i'm so sorry, but not really

I hate living here with these people.

They don't respect or appreciate me.

I get good grades, I'm not a bad person and yet I can never make them happy.

As you know, my girlfriend came over.

We spent alot of time in my room.

Apparently, this is bad. WTF.

So, I got into trouble for being disrespectful, even though I've done nothing.

I even had to apologise to the dick.

I did anyway, but it was purely an appeasement.

The first appointment with my shrink was today.

It left me very emotionally drained.

We talked of guilt and miscarriages and 12 year olds.

I cried a whole lot, but realised that the thoughts I had been carrying around before were not entirely true.

I need to get over the guilt I feel for that.

It was not my fault.

Have you ever been in a situation where there's been intense emotions?

It makes the entire atmosphere change in such a way that you can actually feel the emotion in the air. It's so very weird.

I've mentioned before, my counsellor is lovely. She doesn't sigh and doesn't tell me I'm wrong or silly. She doesn't believe in the textbook traditions and doesn't think that cutting is a bad way of coping.

She believes it is coping, nevertheless and that everyone has different ways to do this.

So I am coping.

I am alive.

I am feeling.

I am alive and coping and feeling and loving the majority of it.