How do you know?

'What's it going to take for you to realise...?" She asked, staring at me and trying to hold back a sigh. There was nothing i could say to her. I just felt numb. "For you to realise people do care about you."

It's going to take a whole lot of counselling because at the minute, I know nobody really cares. They just pretend. I managed to choke out a "I dunno." Then she sighed.

"Because if you don't realise soon, nobody will be left for you." She glanced at me sympathetically, clearly trying to keep the want to start shaking sense into me at a minimum. Again, I could say nothing; only glare at the lockers behind her dumbly. Whatever I'd have said would have been wrong, it would have annoyed her more.

Her words hurt, she knew that. She knows I know I'm losing people. She also knows I don't feel like people care and that I'm still waiting for someone to save me; despite knowing I have to save myself. Yet she still stood at a distance from me, waiting, expecting an intelligent answer to just pop up out of nowhere. As if this whole thing I'm doing is just an act I stop at any point. I certainly couldnt break out of it.

Then she did the only thing that could break me.

"well I'm going to find Sophie."

She turned around and walked off, not bothering to glance back.

She just left me stood there, dumbstruck against the lockers.

I tried my hardest to keep my feelings tight inside myself. I thought about going after her, showing her i was stronger, maybe hitting her....but I couldn't do it. I couldnt do anything. I can't do anything.

I was abandoned again, left a trembling mess.

Later that day she text me telling me to meet her. Then she hugged me, told me I could stay at hers and that she'd be there for me. What The Fuck?

Now how do I know which the real one is?
Did she mean those angry pitying words and were the nice ones her guilt trip?
Or did she mean the nice ones and say the first out of spite?

Will I ever really know?

Disclaimer: Words in speech marks may not be completely accurate, but that's as much as I remember. They were definitely to that effect.