My mum hates me.
I hit her yesterday.
It's the first time I've ever been properly violent and it scared me.
She then told me I was pathetic and stupid and embarrassing.
She's right. I am.
I just exploded.
My Sister stood on a different TH box, and cracked it a bit, then i found my humanoid cd thrown down the side of the car with scratches on it & i just blew up.
I hit her then kicked the dashboard repeatedly.
I'm so fucked up.
Then we went to Parent's evening.
My form tutor thinks I have a problem.
Everyone said I'm quiet.
My mum told me to take advantage of the counsellors at school and go see them if i'm down.
I went into denial and told her nothing was wrong. That I'm fine. I don't need to see anyone.
Truth be told, I'm regressing.
But I don't want to see any school people. I don't want everyone knowing I'm a mess.
Anyway, she hates me again.
I pissed her off earlier.
I'm thinking of 'leaving'.
It's selfish of me to put everyone through this.
I constantly need reassurance and I'm just going crazy.
love from your worthless dirty manipulative evil little slut.
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first of all- ur not worthles!!!!
ReplyDeletesecond of all-the oni thing tru in that last sentence is little!
thirdly- ur mom wont hate u, she will dis-like u at this moment in time
fourthly-don't u dare 'leave', we would all miss u!
fifthly- im surprised 2 hear bout the violence 2 :'(
sixth of all-i wouldn't of gone 2 school counseler either
seventh-we LOVE u and dnt u 4gt it!
xxxxxxxx
Right, seriously, get the fuck out of your house, now. You need some time for everything to cool off, before it gets worse. Believe me, with people like us... I mean, should you be anything like me when you get angry... You could end up killing someone. It's so easy, almost effortless... But please, find somewhere else to live for a while. It will help.
ReplyDeleteIt happens to a lot of people from time to time. I have quite a nasty temper, and when I flare, I go bang, though it takes a lot for me to do that.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I think it's positively alright for you to let your anger out when you're down, just maybe consider the ideas below?
Perhaps if you feel like you're going to explode again, maybe take a long walk outside. The weather is so refreshing right now, nice and crisp. Another alternative is, is to carry a little stress ball around with you. I know these are only short term solutions, but they really do work. Throwing a soft squishy ball to release your anger is guilt free and gives you comfort inside knowing you're not going to hurt the ones you lvoe when you feel like you're going to explode. It sounds almost silly, but it works for me and maybe you could give it a try too.
Your other anonymous lurker.
Yep, looks like there's been the two of us anonymous lurkers for a while!
Huggles. x