I arrived there with my mum and walked in. It smelt like old people, food, piss, shit and death. I almost threw up. At first, she wasnt in her room and walking past all the other rooms wasnt a nice thing either. The majority of the people look like turtles.
We found my nana and we took her back to her room, she didnt even know how old she was. Luckily she did recognise us though. Makes a change.
She had two pair of trousers on, a stash of handbags that werent hers, an ornament under her pillow because she thinks people steal from her & she asked the same question about 10 times. It was seriously horrific to see her like that.
I think I'd prefer it if she was dead.
I've never really liked her, but now she's not all there...I miss her being a bitch. She isnt the nicest person, but she doesnt deserve to be in a home like that.
It was the first time I've seen her in about 6 month and she's really crazy. She doesnt even take her medication because she thinks theyre trying to drug her and she's on a hunger strike. :/
Wish I'd shown my appreciation for her more.
Usually, when shit like this happens; I pretend I'm tough as nails and nothing bothers me. I usually laugh about it. But that sight was something I wasn't prepared for and it hit me real fast. I had a breakdown, right there at the home. How embarrassing.
I hope to hell I don't get dementia.
On the way home, mum & I had a talk. She wondered what was so wrong with my life that I had to hurt myself, because she said I didnt do bad. Not like my life is terrible. She thinks it's all just Alex & my dad. How exactly do I tell her that when she was out 3 times a week getting pissed, I was being fucked by her best friend's daughter.
I gotta go camping this weekend. Really CBA. So, no blog til I get back. Not that you care anyway.
No comments:
Post a Comment