It's been 3 week since we broke up...I still feel the same as I did in the beginning. This is by far the longest bout of depression I've ever had.
&& I'm contemplating cutting myself again. I'll leave it half n hour..if i still feel the need to do it...then I'll get out my razor...but leave it another 15 mins. See, I am trying to stop.
My eating habits are all over the place too. :/ I'm so unhappy. Nothing helps to make me feel better. I'm just so alone at the moment.
& Eating makes me feel guilty, fat...so I've started exercising more again. I did this a couple of year ago. I reckon it's just the change of weather. I'll get used to it soon. I think.
Ooooooh. That's what I 'll do instead of cutting. I'll do more sit ups. I've already done 300....but a couple more can't hurt. It's good for me. I'd like to weigh at least 8.7...if not a bit less. At the minute I weigh...9.1 & a quarter. Yeah..i can achieve that. (Y)
When I'm thinner, I'll be happier.
I'm off to a party on sunday..shall be good. Pizza Hut though. so that means more sit ups. but it'll be ok. I also have skinny jeans to wear..which are just a tad tight. so all the more reason to cut down on the shit i eat. To go with the jeans, is a rather nice top.
But the top is short sleeved, meaning i'll have to bear my cuts to the world.
Oh fuck me, I have to stop self harming.
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