whisper me your secrets

I'm crushing on my friend's sister.

13141.) I am not going to flirt with you, exchange innuendo, no more dirty pictures, no heated discussions until 5 am. I feel that I have to make myself a good and proper girl for you, even though you're one of the most perverted virgins I've talked to and even though it drives me insane.


13122.) I can't talk to my best friend anymore. It's tearing me up inside.


13117.) I'm glad I was your first. It makes me feel like I have some claim to you.


13080.) i don't want to go to college, i don't wanna grow up, i want to run away, or just kill myself.


13043.) I don't know where I'd be if you hadn't taken my virginity. I want to rip your fucking balls off and shove a twig into your dickhole, but at the same time, I want to thank you.


13034.) Mom, I love you. With all of my heart, I do. I have a horrible way of showing it, and I know that. But when you say that I don't love you, it hurts me. It hurts me a lot. I DO love you. And I want you to know that. I don't know why, but it's really hard for me to just come out and say it. I guess it makes me feel like a baby or something..I'm sorry. I love you.


13017.) I'm sick of maintaining this happy facade, I can't do it any more. This mask I put on to face everyone is starting to wear thin, and some days I wonder how people don't see right through me and are exposed to my pain. I wonder how people look at me and don't see my how badly I'm suffering, because I'm not even trying to hide it any more.


13007.) i love to get piercings and tattoos, it makes me feel,feel something,ANYTHING then the nothingness thats inside of me.


12966.) Sometimes I just hate life. A lot. I just want to disappear sometimes, forever. Fuck life.


12952.) I don't know why I can't get over you. It's been so long already. Sometimes I wonder if you still like me; even a little.


12927.) Everyone asks me where do I see myself in the future, I answer with I dont know. Why? Cause I honestly cant see myself in the future. No matter how much I try. And I think the reason is because Im not gonna get there.


12913.) I know that someday, you too will find a reason to leave me. The worst part is that I really just want to know how long I have before I'll be moving into some hidden place in the world, so I never have to deal with losing someone again. I'm done. I'm sixteen, and I'm done. I've given up.

All are secrets other people have said and i could carry on forever, but you get the idea. It makes me feel nice to know other people feel the same; but i found some on my friends blog and that upset me. I've always looked up at her for being so strong, now i realise she isnt and i still envy her for keeping it to herself. I hope she's okay and knows that I'm always here for her.