It's dark despite the light

Well, just spent a week at my dad's to get away from all the chaos.

It didnt help at all.

Pretty much everything went wrong.

I couldnt sleep. I got into trouble for trivial things like; dipping biscuits in tea. Having a bath. Feeling miserable.

All my showers were cold. I still had panic attacks and I was still depressed. Change in scenery did fuck all.

But things went ok for the majority of it. Until thursday night.

We got drunk, I had a panic attack. Alcohol does that to me sometimes. Mark didn't buy my panic attack though. :/ He shouted at me. It turned into a full blown arguement. He went all suicidal on me, calling my mum a slag, he told me to go suck cock & he said I didnt know how to love.

He's right about that, but I cant help it.

Calling my mum a slag was the last step. I slapped him lots. He's a real cunt. I cant live with him being like that....so it'l be a while before I see him again.

Also he collapsed, hit his head & couldnt remember who we were.

I think he had a nervous breakdown.

So life is abit shit again.

Sixth form dropped philosophy too. So I'm going to do R.E instead. But that didnt make me feel any better & just to add to my problems I have Swine Flu.

Achyness. Sore Throat. Headache. Vomiting. Stomach Ache. Earache.

Just kill me now. Get it over and done with.