A sorta fairytale

I deleted my Alex texts today. They make me feel ill.

It was nice to start a-fresh.

'Keeping me awake,
it's been like this now for days,
my heart is out at sea,
my head all over the place,
i'm losing sense of time,
and everything tastes the same' - Always Attract.

Mariana is definitely coming to England.

In just two weeks.

I'm so very excited, but at the same time, it doesn't feel real.

It's like a fairytale.

The fact that she has known almost from the very beginning that I find her interesting and enticing and hasn't run away as my feelings got stronger is quite a miracle.

What's even more miraculous is that she now knows the full extent to what I feel and feels it back.

That's the best thing anyone could ask for.

She's truly beautiful.

She stops me sleeping in the best of ways, makes me happy, makes me giggle. There's so much I want to do with her and yet I worry there will not be enough time. Plus she quotes me, and she's so full of sense, so intelligent.

I don't want anybody else, I haven't for a while. She's the only one I want now.

I can't tell you how many times we've had the 'this is hopeless, don't talk to me, get over me' conversation, but yet... in two excruciating weeks, she'll be stood in the airport waiting for me.

Every centimetre of sense we once had has gone out of the window and we're purely working on the need to meet each other right now.

I find it beautifully romantic.

Plus, she's seen me at my worst - very little make up, hair not done, no bra and she still appreciates me. If that's not magical, what is?

I've never been so happy to have dimples, because it only adds to the reason of why I'm good.

She likes the same things as me, like holding hands and I figure that if we can still like each other after constantly being together for a week, then we are unstoppable.

At least for a while.

That's what I hope anyway.

I've never felt like this with anyone else and for the first time, I enjoy being out of control.

There's a hell of a lot more I want to say, but I have respect for her.

To paraphrase Astrid Lindgren "Sometimes we have to do the things we don't really dare doing. Otherwise we are nothing but dirt" So I'll just buzz in my happy silence, because I am indeed girlfriend material.

I think it's safe to say that we even have a song already. I've never had a song before. But it seems we have ours.

Two weeks and counting. <3