Somewhere weakness is our strength

Lackadaisical. Agentic. Weird.

These are what I have been portrayed as for the past couple of days. So basically, I'm odd, I lack liveliness and the capacity to acknowledge my own decisions and take responsibility for said action.

I haven't done anything different than normal. I'm still how I was, just a little happier. Are people trying to bring me down already?

I have a friend who clearly thinks she's superior to me. This irritates me so, because she is not better.

My auntie tried to off herself again. Twice in the same fucking week.

Please woman, just die already. Everybody has given up caring and you've been dead to me for about 4 year already. If you want help, I'll buy you more pills and a few razor blades. It'l be an effective trip this time. I promise.

I'll come to your funeral though. I'll come to your funeral and laugh about how much stronger I am, about how I'm so very close to turning into you...but I won't go that way. I'll be better, I'll be more pleasing for everyone around.

I used to worry I'd turn into you. At one point, you were my idol, my best friend. Thanks for screwing me over. I guess most people are like you though.

I have to ring my new doctor. I still haven't done it and exams are sooooooooon. Although, I'm feeling increasingly confident about them.

There's a sicky feeling in my tummy tonight. I might go to bed early. I finish school tomorrow. Hmm, an early night sounds good. Although, I wanted to see Mariana.