Scatman

Today has been good.

It made me realise how much happier I am and how much I love my mum.

As you know, I'm on study leave so my days are spent at home with my mum doing sweet fuck all usually.

I didn't get up until half 11 today. Sleep felt nice.

I got ready eventually though so we could go pick the kids up from school.

On the way there, we passed a gay sauna and mum said ' I dare you to go ask for some water for the car.' I was like 'no. it's too early to see any bumming.' So she called me a chicken and we laughed.

After, mum called at the shop to get some peppers or something. She also bought some profiteroles so we could share them. I grabbed one and it pulled up the one from underneath it as well, so obviously I had to eat them both :p

Anyway, the bottom one fell on my leg, chocolate side-down, leaving a nice brown ring mark on my jeans.

Mum told me it looked like a baby had sat on my leg minus it's nappy and pooed.

She got a raised eyebrow look as I asked how many babies she knew that had holes that size. (It was rather large.)

This only acquired more laughter and we somehow got back onto the topic of the gay sauna.

I think she said something like 'It's from when you got the water isnt it? A gay man fell onto your lap after one of his sessions.'

I was like 'blegh. I should hope he's cleaning himself properly if he's doing things like that.'

We laughed again. Loud, hearty laughs.

Then she goes 'Some people have a thing for that. Like a fetish. You know, glass tables. where they sit underneath and watch the person. Haven't you heard of scat? Is called that right?'

Of course I had.

'Yeahhh mum. Apparently, Hitler was into that.....It's also a type of jazz singing, you know 'scooop de bop shopp de wahh' - (my attempt at scat singing)

So my mum racked her brains then said 'yeah, the Scatman. Wait it's in a song...'

'The monkey from Jungle book says it, then proceeds to scat sing'

'It's also a ride in Blackpool.'

We were shocked at how frequently it was used. There was a moment of puzzlement before I broke the amused silence.

'Anyway mum, haven't you heard of 2 girls, 1 cup?'

She had not, so I proceeded to vaguely explain the hysteria around that taboo subject.

Then we shared a collection of groans at how sick it all was, whilst staring at the brown ring on my jeans and crying with happiness.

I haven't had a conversation with her like that in forever.

It made me feel good, and I know that if I still have readers left, that you probably didn't need any of that story, but I needed to document it.

Plus, it could have been any story, any subject but the point is I managed to properly communicate without wanting to hurt myself or feel ashamed of who I am.

Oh and another thing, although I like to consider taboo subjects and try to break these walls down...scat is one thing I refuse to do.