good enough...

Aaaaaah fuck it all.

I feel mega shit & I don't even know why. 

:(

you ever felt like this?? Any ideas on how I can sort it?

I think it could be because its nearly that time of the month so i'm incredibly horny (more than usual, believe or not.) & also a little spontaneously sad. I've even been attempting to plan things, dirty things, that i never thought i'd do. 

But hey, it'll make him happy. Don't take that the wrong way though. It's not all about MH. I just want to be good enough for him. I want to be his everything. I love him....but i'm not like his ex. We'll call her Torrez. 

In fact, im not like most girls. I'm louder ;) I'm dirtier, i'm bisexual and not afraid of people knowing. Also i have alot of issues. they can come out in my personality. :/

So, anyway his ex, wow! she's brilliant both academically & physically. not got much of a chest, but that's not everything. At least she's thin. She's really nice....well i just worry MH will see what he chucked was better than what he has now. That would actually crush me.

You know, one of the downsides of having a boyfriend that really loves you & isnt just init for the sex is the fact that I can't ask anyon for advice or help. After last time i opened my mouth, i darent do it again. So now, i hardly say anything on the topic of my love life, afraid that il get carried away & tell everyone everything. Makes me more reseved though, that's a good thing.

I've started swearing more. It's not good. Very unattractive. But, i cant talk to anyone & I'm so fucking stressed out. Maybe I have my priorities all wrong,but my relationship with my best friend & my bf are the only two stable things going on right now. 

School is a failure. I'm like a hermit at home. :( Multi-tasking is pretty hard when its your personalities. :(

I'll  get it all sorted though. It'll be reet. (Y). Thanks for letting me vent. my next blog will be cheerier.

xxx