Dear readers, (if i have any that is),
Recently I've been enjoying the twilight books, like most other people i guess. But its really affected how much like Bella I find myself to be. Again, im sure other grls say this. Everybody wants a forever right?
The thing is, how do you know if youre in the right forever?
The reasons i am like Bella are as follows;
I'm clumsy.
Hate blood.
Vampires are amazing (bit of a turn on if im honest.)
Bad luck always seems to find me.
& when i'm kissing MH i get exactly the same feeling as her.
I go all dizzy. Occasionally i forget to breathe. he makes my heartbeat speed up like hell. I miss him when he's not here. He gives me butterflies & even ringing him makes me shake.
But how does Bella know he should be in her forever?
Usually i put on a brave face, laugh it off. For example, 'oh i wana get married. big wedding, stay with him always' my reply would be 'haha married? what the fuck for? it ruins everything. Nothing ever lasts and it's so incredibly pointless.you dont stay with people for ever'. & even though Twilight is just fiction & im probs readin too much into it, it's given me some hope.
Oh crap,i just sound like an overinfatuated teenager. Well, im not. MH has his faults. he gets pissed off easily & over reacts. But I still want him. I like him exactly the way he is. But what If I want him forever?
Apologies. I rant too much. let my brain & fingers run away with me there. The thing is, right now I'm very happy. Home life could be better & I'm afraid I'm turning into my auntie.....but apart from that everthing is brill.
Love life is good, sex life is good, social life aint bad. Youre going to think I'm a sex mad freak.....& in some sense you are right. unfortunately. I do like 'fun' & I'm definitely a freak. See, i talk about sex so easly because not many other people do. In this day and age, people still shy away from it as if theres something to be ashamed of. But there isnt. So, as a teenage girl, I'm here to try and take some of that embarrasment away. Also,I'm a little one track minded. pleasure makes me happy, and pleasuring other people make me happy. It gives me a feeling of power. Something that I can do right & because I fail at everything else, doing all this right is important to me. Everyone knows it's nice to be desired & sex is desirable...so doing it properly is needed. Also, good to have a bit of skill right?
I'm not a slut, dont get me wrong. Still got my big V. Not done anything wth alot of people, just people I've been out with and after a while of course. Except MH, i want him badly. But maybe that's just my age, my hormones & the fact that I think i'm in love with him.
Only time will tell.
^^^ that was going to be my finishing subject, but to be honest, time pisses me off just as much as the phrase 'forever' does. It's always wait for the right time, then it fucking passes you. Then your forever is screwed. They link together & it's not good.
Now i'll finish. You probably won't even read this. Haha well fuck you then.
That's it now for tonight I promise. Please forgive my blogging. xxx
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