Cake and Sodomy

Woke up this morning feeling fine.

DONT WORRY, IM NOT GOING TO SING ANYMORE HALIFAX SONGS :P

Felt proper knackered though from all those dreams I've been having recently & i woke up at 5am needing a wee. :/

So i arrived at school feeling very happy. Top of the world & all that. After all, tomorrow is friday. Coat Hanger techniques and all that ;) ahaha OJ.

I sat down in form after freezing my tits off waiting for friends that didnt show up, i felt as happy as larry. (Which makes me wonder....who the fuck is Larry & why was he always happy?)

  Stupid Bastard.

i flipped out the mobile, looking at the time to realise i had to missed calls from ma mere & a text.

Quelle Horreur!!!

It was a text saying I couldnt sleep at his on friday.  It hurt because i knew this meant she couldnt trust me. It's not like I'm shagging him or anything. & who gives a fuck about my reputation? 

The fact is I love him.

But sometimes it feels like I'm not even allowed to do that.

I read it and turned from 0 to bitch in 4 seconds. 

I just wanted the table to suck me in. Just so i could have my own space...add him, a couple of decent friends from both parties & i'm sorted.

No parents, No Schoolwork, No fucking pregnancies. 

I managed to get through the day though. i told him i couldnt come but i'd be able to work it out with her. Then media was amazing. We laughed about my coat hanger mishap. He took the piss abit...but it's amazing how much I can just be myself when I'm around him. Fuck, I'm getting deep again. Me & Snowman had to talk to our Media teacher; the Clarkinator, we call her. But MH waited for me :) cz he's nice like that. very good at the little things.

Of course, he got sick of waiting and kissed me. Right there in front of Snowman and the Clarkinator. I caught up to him though and then I got kissed again. woop woop!!

PE was just the norm...i stared at him abit...fantasising over his body. Oooh it's hott.

After P.E i got a phone call. The mother again. Big arguement swung around. She sent me on a huge fucking guilt trip. Couple of tears came out...i felt like shit. 

I hate guilt trips so much. 

But I was coping with it...not well mind..but good enough. I cleaned myself up abit then went for dinner. MH & his mates were there. i obvs looked pissed off but it wasnt that bad. Until she rang again. Making me feel worse. She kept saying stuff like 'We've all been 15, we all know what it's like' as if i was having sex or something. Which I'm not.

The bottom lip came out.

The body started trembling.

The eyes began to leak. Oh fuck, I was crying again...& just behind me was my bf & his entourage. On the other hand, in front of me were all my friends & some of my smaller aqquaintances. I couldnt decide which was worse. :(

My mum was shouting in my ear, behind me MH was calling my name, everybody's faces were glaring into me, my whole self just started burning up. 

Why is it that when everythings going right that something bad has to happen?

Snowman and A were comforting me, then MH was at the side of me in a flash...it was in definite superman stylee too. Though I'm probs imagining that part, when i cry i get abit disorrientated. But he just felt safe and warm. There's a definite comfortable side to him. I could feel the love through his touch, the way he stayed with me & just clung on for abit. It was cute.

Obviously, i got more kisses & hugs. :D

I cheered up abit after that. He handled my tear stained face & emotional state very well.

At least i still get to see him though. Even if i don't get to stay up until the early hours of the morning staring at him.

xxx