Let's be honest

Life is.... what is life right now? Life is good enough.


The other day I was sat on a table in front of some male friends. They were all playing on their phones, competing against each other and speaking 'fruit ninja jargon.


I liked how oblivious they were.


I could have probably walked around naked and they wouldn't have noticed. Unless they were to hit a bomb or something. 


I realised that boys are strange simple creatures. I'm glad I'm not one and I'm glad I'm not with one. I couldn't bear competing with a mobile phone or an xbox or something as equally shitty. I don't think I'd care if I wasn't ever going to be with one again. Unless Bill/Tom came knocking. ;)


I've been with ES 17 weeks now. (4 month and one week. I count. I'm lame.) This a long time, and a huge achievement. 4 fucking month. 


Had a talk with Beth the other night. I told her I liked her for a bit due to my confusion with love, sex and affection. She appreciated my honesty, told me I was sweet and that it gave her hope that other nice people will like her in the future. She said I'm a straight talker. Apparently that's a good quality.


I never regarded myself as particularly honest. I mean, from the age of 10 up to July of last year I'd been living a double life in which I lied about at least one thing to pretty much everyone around me. So to be told I am honest is beautiful and confusing. In fact, I barely believe it, but Beth is not the first person to tell me such a thing. I have had the H word mentioned around me at least 3 times. Maybe I am honest.


I had a beautiful webcam date last night. It really made my week and I learnt some things during it :D 

Jag alskar dig mycket Mariana.