I'm currently sat in my room watching a horror movie and drinking a celebratory glass of Gluhwein because on Thursday I had my last counselling session. Unless I want to go for a re-referral in three months that is.
As you know I've had a shitty week and in my session I just broke down. I mentioned my side pain and that just did it for me. I was howling in her lounge chair and physically being forced to sit back.
We talked about stress, because that's why I get side pain; it's how I carry myself. I'm always tense..and it seems crying and sex help remove some of that tension..so I have to cry at least once a week.
She says I'm self aware and intelligent, but my academic ability is fighting with all the emotional turmoil and considering how many emotions I've had in the past year I'm doing exceptionally well. It's just hard to believe he. Plus, not everyone realises how difficult it can be and they all expect more.
So basically I need to lessen and then learn how to cope with the pressure. It seems like a really stupid time to stop seeing her, but I have to. I've already had 4 more sessions than the average person.
She also said I have to be just good enough for not, not bad, not fantastic. Then she told me this story about Donny Osmond which made me cry even more, pathetically.
Still...I'm a free woman from now on. No dependencies anymore.
I went to Fran's friday night, but I'll blog about that later.
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