Precious memory

I had a dream last night. Well, I had two.
The first one was embarassing.
The second made me wake up crying. It was about my grandad.
He was at my prom and then I saw him on the bus home. I went to talk to him, knowing he was ill and it was like he couldnt walk or anything. He looked drunk or drugged up.
He got off the bus and I followed him, I wanted to help him.
I wasnt allowed. So I told him that I was just as stubborn as he is and I would help him.
Then he ran off up this hilly alley thing. Because I was in a stupid dress, i wasn't as fast. I quickly lost him and then the hilly alley collapsed.
He was dead.

I told my mum about it and started crying. Again.
She hugged me and said it was alright. She misses him too and she wants to go read him my report and he was the best father figure i had and know he's gone. It fucking sucks. I thought I was dealing well.

So I can't remember if I mentioned this, but Mariana found me on facebook. She's one of the amazing girls that comments my blog alot. Apparently, she admires me. Anyway, so I've been talking to her on msn alot recently.

She wrote me a poem:

"Hello Dewsbury,
I will disguise myself as your proximity
and use the phonetic alphabet inside of you"

I think it's really sweet. I don't often get personal poetry and that fits with me well.

Also, I think I've fallen in love with her.

This is stupid, because she's going to read it but remember when i said I wanted an internet relationship with the whole staying up and smiling thing?

Well that is what she does to/for me.

I find myself subconsciously waiting for her to come on online. Then the moment she does I'll start a conversation. It flows oh so well and she interests me and I actually read what she has to say. My heart pounds a little and I giggle alot. She's incredibly passionate, isnt afraid of me, understands me and we have actual conversations.

Is any of this real or am I just overly infatuated as per normal?

I should become a nun.