Saturday, 21 March 2009

Rette Mich

This is what happens when the person you love doesnt love you & you're not allowed to cut yourself to relieve the pain. You curl up in a ball, praying for the world to go away & watch films that make you feel worse. 
Then you search the internet for self harm helplines & come across 
'To Write Love On Her Arms'.

read this:


MISSION STATEMENT:

To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.  TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.

VISION:

The vision is that we actually believe these things…

You were created to love and be loved.  You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story.  You need to know that your life matters.

We live in a difficult world, a broken world.  My friend Byron is very smart - he says that life is hard for most people most of the time.  We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments.  You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck. 

We all wake to the human condition.  We wake to mystery and beauty but also to tragedy and loss.  Millions of people live with problems of pain.  Millions of homes are filled with questions – moments and seasons and cycles that come as thieves and aim to stay.  We know that pain is very real.  It is our privilege to suggest that hope is real, and that help is real. 

You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption.  We're seeing it happen.  We're seeing lives change as people get the help they need.  People sitting across from a counselor for the first time.  People stepping into treatment.  In desperate moments, people calling a suicide hotline.  We know that the first step to recovery is the hardest to take.  We want to say here that it's worth it, that your life is worth fighting for, that it's possible to change. 

Beyond treatment, we believe that community is essential, that people need other people, that we were never meant to do life alone. 

The vision is that community and hope and help would replace secrets and silence.  

The vision is people putting down guns and blades and bottles. 

The vision is that we can reduce the suicide rate in America and around the world.

The vision is that we would learn what it means to love our friends, and that we would love ourselves enough to get the help we need.

The vision is better endings.  The vision is the restoration of broken families and broken relationships.  The vision is people finding life, finding freedom, finding love.  The vision is graduation, a Super Bowl, a wedding, a child, a sunrise.  The vision is people becoming incredible parents, people breaking cycles, making change.  

The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead.  

The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know.  

The vision is hope, and hope is real.

You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.


As a self professed mutilator, i know how hard it is to be in that cycle...to wake up on a morning & just want to die. 

To never be able to find any hope, any light, any reason to carry on. But I have managed to carry on. Not every day is depressing. Just the majority. But I was recovering. I was recovering just fine. I had MH to get me back on track, to help me. It was working. Until he broke up with me

Yeah, maybe I don't appreciate life....well you try going through the shit i've been through & still feel fine. My life appears to be one bad thing on top of another. No, I lie. It's not all bad. For the past 3 month, it's been amazing. But then thursday arrived & my life just went downhill from there again. 

I want to hurt myself. I want to hurt myself permanently...yet I can't bring myself to do it. It would hurt too many others. I'm not special enough to be that selfish. I just need a release. Surely, one small cut to the wrist with a nearly blunt razor blade won't make any difference.


I JUST NEED HELP.


Please help me. 

This is my cry out for help. I need saving. 

Before I hurt myself beyond repare. 


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