St. Anger

I gotta go home tomorrow; parents go on holiday and I offered to help look after the baby while they did last minute stuff.

Now I've fucked up again and it seems someone's always mad at me in someway. See, Chris booked a tattoo at 2pm. Mum called asking me to be home for 12. I'm just stuck and whatever I decide to do just fucks someone around.

I'm such a fucking inconvenience.

I've been with him a month tomorrow (just a month and yet it feels like forever, and oh, how I want it to last forever) and he's getting a tattoo dedicated to me (that's if he doesnt change his mind and realise I'm not worth it) and at this rate I won't even be able to be there with him. Ah fuck. I wish my family needed me less.

Luckily, my periods pretty much done which means less self-hatred, less crying and more general happiness so I'll be less of a whiny bitch and then things will be all lovely again.

I wish I had a healthy coping mechanism as opposed to having none at all.

Chris found out that I used to read twc and he still loves me. Like, he thinks I'm a freak....but it doesnt completely disgust him.

Oh I hate disappointing people. Anger is so much easier to deal with.