Today is valentines day. I wonder what Alex is doing.
It feels like last year's was just yesterday to be honest.
You might remember i went all cliche and lost my virginity. Can you believe its been a year?
Well, at the minute i regret it. I always wanted to be different, and enjoy myself. I mean, the sex itself was amazing but all it's done has left me feeling incredibly frustrated and a little disappointed.
I don't know. I kinda don't mind being single, but at the same time i crave that proximity.
Even a close online relationship would be nice. You know, the ones where you wait for the person to come online, smile when they do and the conversation flows and just goes on forever and you cant help but feel happy?
Yeah, that would satisfy me.
I'm holding up pretty well with my grandad. I guess I'm still pretending to be happy, so it's becoming a permanent state where nothing bothers me anymore and I'm beginning to feel a little numb. Finally.
I have to go for a ultrasound and a transvaginal scan. FML. The doctor is going to lube up a stick, after putting a condom on it and shove it up me. This makes me glad that I shave though, although i'm a little worried i'll get turned on something. how bad would that be?
Ooh. don't you think it's nice when you get things nobody else does? I do.
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