misery

I have an interview on Tuesday 23rd for something I actually want to do.
I am so scared.

Also, it's approximately two weeks until I'm supposed to pay my rent and move out but i am not responsible enough to be prepared for any of this.

I am on anti-depressants but I am still mildly suicidal. It's as if its always there in the back of my head; a constant low level need to kill myself because really, what is the point of living.

I love my girlfriend and sometimes I like my job and there are still things i havent done but overall, what is the point.