Speed

I can't believe people still read this silly old thing. However, it does seem I'm writing again, so I guess I'm glad for the readership.

Right now I'm watching 'Our Gay Wedding: the Musical' because if you didn't know gay marriage is finally legal in England (as of 29th March)!! It's a step in the right direction, even if it's not exactly complete equality for everyone. So, I'd put myself off watching this because to be honest I thought it was going to be really cheesy, but in all honesty it's beautiful and I have totally been crying with joy for the past twenty minutes.

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I saw Matt today. He's a funny guy (and he frustrates me) because in the summer we briefly dated and then he told me we were just playing it cool. Then he swanned off to sea and within a week of being there he had a bloody girlfriend. Fair enough, I guess we werent compatible and he was a bit boring sometimes so I'm glad I'm not tied to him, but still.

Oh but he does turn me on. 

Especially when he's driving. It's his arms I think.

Anyway, so he came over two weeks ago and we had sex. I know I guess I'm a bad person, but whatever. It's not really my problem. It's not even like he likes me, he's just revenge cheating. The power I hold makes me happy though. 

I am a bad person. 

He came over today aswell. He arrived. We had sex. It was... ok. The boy just has no idea about foreplay. He thinks tweaking my nipples is enough to get me wet. I probably should have insisted on more than that, but equally I just wanted to be penetrated. So yeah, the sex wasn't fantastic but it also wasn't terrible. Then we went out for a drink. I tortured myself by asking about his girlfriend because though I don't like him very much I still wonder what it was that I did wrong; why he didn't want me to be his girlfriend. 

Then we went for a drive down this little windy road which was really nice because I love driving fast with the top down.

Still, he's cheating. Not that that's the problem. The problem is that I don't understand why he's fooling himself about loving her. Again, not because he's cheating, but because they don't have any honesty between them.

If there's one thing I can't stand it's not being honest and I hold the power of their relationship right between my legs.